I used to list my fandoms here, but then Tumblr wooed me into so many new ones and got me back into old ones and now I'm drowning in feels. On a regular day, you can expect to encounter anime, manga, cartoons, superheroes, butts, and strawberry desserts, so if you don't like any of that stuff, this blog probably ain't your cuppa.
![mini-mosca:
substantialityou:
dapperdick:
Alright. We’re going to have a little talk, Tumblr. Basic academy of knowledge right here. I’m going to dumb this down super hardcore and use basic terms. I even numbered this. So no excuses for not understanding what I’m talking about.
We’ll start with the subject in question.
The prostate [#2]. It is a gland located not even an inch away from the seminal vesicles [#1]. THIS bundle of glands produces a mass of what later becomes semen. You know those money shots with the white magic dripping down your OTP’s faces? This joyous little thing here is responsible for that. I recommend writing it a letter to thank it, but seeing as it has no hands and no postal code I don’t think Hallmark will willingly deliver your regards.
Now, the prostate is not in direct aim of the dick when it slides through the anal cavity. I didn’t number that one. Everyone knows where the anus is. If you don’t, then… well. I really can’t help you out. If you DO know where the anus is then AWESOME. You are one of countless people with an asshole. Congratulations.
Anyway. What I was trying to say is that there is absolutely no way for a penis to slam inside the anal cavity in one go and hitting the prostate directly without a number of things. One, why are you slamming anything without prior preparation? LUBE. THAT. BITCH. Lube it. Lube it the fuck up. I don’t care if you’re using duck fat, guys. Slick it up. Never water based because that stuff dries out and fast. Foreplay the asshole like you are priming it for auction. You want to diddle some prostate? The person needs to be into it. They need to be aroused.
A good example is this: if you randomly shoved something in your vagina right this very second would you be turned on or would you be ‘wow there’s something in my vagina very suddenly and this is very inconvenient’? I think it’d be the latter. But I’m not you. Different tastes. I’m not judging. What I’m getting at is that the human body knows what should and should not be going down. And in this case up. Treat the anus well and it will reward you with access. End of story.
The pressure from the dick in the anus is what many fics are actually trying their damnedest to describe. Basically when you’re getting into this whole sex thing your body goes all flushed and testy, getting nice and swollen in various places. That includes the prostate. Suddenly it’s poking up against the anal wall to say hello. Then the penis grazes past and sparks. Fucking. Fly. Or they don’t. The sensitivity of a person’s prostate is different with every individual. Maybe a little flick makes someone have a full body orgasm/seizure and you know what? I am intrigued as well as jealous of this person. I bet they are awesome at parties.
Okay. So. Everything else is pretty basic. The seminal vesicles [#1] and various other fun stuff in the human body like the PROSTATE come together to flood those dandy testicles [#4]. They get wonderfully hard with semen that may or may not come shooting forth from the penis [#3]. I say MAY NOT because dry orgasms are totally possible. Open mind, guys. Not everything ends with enough come to fill one of those chocolate waterfalls.
But can you imagine? The poor person that had to fill that thing. They’d have to be at it for months. Nonstop. But such a wonderful centerpiece at a wedding or business event once it’s completed.
That’s really all I have to say on this regard. Any further questions should probably go to one of the many awesome med students I follow like cryblainecry. I’m not saying she was taught about the great depths of which the prostate is squandered. But she’s a pretty alright medicine monster who knows far more about the human body than I ever will.
And as always, have a nice day.
sidenotes:
scissoring fingers in the anal cavity isn’t possible as it is a very restricted set of TWO rings of muscles. unless previous stretching has happened prior or you have mighty hulk fingers that shit isn’t going to fly
going in dry is ridiculous. neither the penis making the exploration or the asshole being plundered will enjoy that. unless we’re talking lubricating ass fic then sorry, get some oil based lube. just do it.
the prostate is a GLAND.
the prostate is a smooth, swollen surface that you can feel from within the anal wall. it is not a light switch, a walnut, a button, or a nub. and if you have any of those things IN YOUR ASSHOLE then PLEASE for the sake of yourself visit a doctor.
Things they should teach at school.
All fanfic writers need to read this if they’re even thinking of writing yaoi sexy times.
I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to disagree on the oil-based vs. water-based because oil-based is the greasiest, most difficult shit to clean up. It’s like fucking with WD40 (which I don’t recommend).
But each to their own, YMMV, etc.](http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m5ij53koSa1qespzfo1_500.png)
Alright. We’re going to have a little talk, Tumblr. Basic academy of knowledge right here. I’m going to dumb this down super hardcore and use basic terms. I even numbered this. So no excuses for not understanding what I’m talking about.
We’ll start with the subject in question.
The prostate [#2]. It is a gland located not even an inch away from the seminal vesicles [#1]. THIS bundle of glands produces a mass of what later becomes semen. You know those money shots with the white magic dripping down your OTP’s faces? This joyous little thing here is responsible for that. I recommend writing it a letter to thank it, but seeing as it has no hands and no postal code I don’t think Hallmark will willingly deliver your regards.
Now, the prostate is not in direct aim of the dick when it slides through the anal cavity. I didn’t number that one. Everyone knows where the anus is. If you don’t, then… well. I really can’t help you out. If you DO know where the anus is then AWESOME. You are one of countless people with an asshole. Congratulations.
Anyway. What I was trying to say is that there is absolutely no way for a penis to slam inside the anal cavity in one go and hitting the prostate directly without a number of things. One, why are you slamming anything without prior preparation? LUBE. THAT. BITCH. Lube it. Lube it the fuck up. I don’t care if you’re using duck fat, guys. Slick it up. Never water based because that stuff dries out and fast. Foreplay the asshole like you are priming it for auction. You want to diddle some prostate? The person needs to be into it. They need to be aroused.
A good example is this: if you randomly shoved something in your vagina right this very second would you be turned on or would you be ‘wow there’s something in my vagina very suddenly and this is very inconvenient’? I think it’d be the latter. But I’m not you. Different tastes. I’m not judging. What I’m getting at is that the human body knows what should and should not be going down. And in this case up. Treat the anus well and it will reward you with access. End of story.
The pressure from the dick in the anus is what many fics are actually trying their damnedest to describe. Basically when you’re getting into this whole sex thing your body goes all flushed and testy, getting nice and swollen in various places. That includes the prostate. Suddenly it’s poking up against the anal wall to say hello. Then the penis grazes past and sparks. Fucking. Fly. Or they don’t. The sensitivity of a person’s prostate is different with every individual. Maybe a little flick makes someone have a full body orgasm/seizure and you know what? I am intrigued as well as jealous of this person. I bet they are awesome at parties.
Okay. So. Everything else is pretty basic. The seminal vesicles [#1] and various other fun stuff in the human body like the PROSTATE come together to flood those dandy testicles [#4]. They get wonderfully hard with semen that may or may not come shooting forth from the penis [#3]. I say MAY NOT because dry orgasms are totally possible. Open mind, guys. Not everything ends with enough come to fill one of those chocolate waterfalls.
But can you imagine? The poor person that had to fill that thing. They’d have to be at it for months. Nonstop. But such a wonderful centerpiece at a wedding or business event once it’s completed.
That’s really all I have to say on this regard. Any further questions should probably go to one of the many awesome med students I follow like cryblainecry. I’m not saying she was taught about the great depths of which the prostate is squandered. But she’s a pretty alright medicine monster who knows far more about the human body than I ever will.
And as always, have a nice day.
sidenotes:
- scissoring fingers in the anal cavity isn’t possible as it is a very restricted set of TWO rings of muscles. unless previous stretching has happened prior or you have mighty hulk fingers that shit isn’t going to fly
- going in dry is ridiculous. neither the penis making the exploration or the asshole being plundered will enjoy that. unless we’re talking lubricating ass fic then sorry, get some oil based lube. just do it.
- the prostate is a GLAND.
- the prostate is a smooth, swollen surface that you can feel from within the anal wall. it is not a light switch, a walnut, a button, or a nub. and if you have any of those things IN YOUR ASSHOLE then PLEASE for the sake of yourself visit a doctor.
Things they should teach at school.
All fanfic writers need to read this if they’re even thinking of writing yaoi sexy times.
I’m sorry, but I’m going to have to disagree on the oil-based vs. water-based because oil-based is the greasiest, most difficult shit to clean up. It’s like fucking with WD40 (which I don’t recommend).
But each to their own, YMMV, etc.
(via kiryuusei)